


You Matter

by Lif61 (UltimateFandomTrash)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, POV Clarke Griffin, Prompt Fill, Season/Series 04, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateFandomTrash/pseuds/Lif61
Summary: Clarke is hurting after Bellamy puts her name on the list of the essential people that'll be saved from Praimfaya.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Kudos: 29





	You Matter

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt on tumblr by @soprompt: **"I'm ready for this to be over."**
> 
> Why am I just now getting on the Bellarke angst train? I'm giving myself feels.
> 
> Oh, and take a shot every time they speak with emphasis. (No, don't really, someone would have to call you an ambulance.)

“Listen to me,” Bellamy said endearingly, holding Clarke’s hands in his rough, calloused ones. Clarke stifled her sobs, but the tears kept falling, and even breaths were a thing of the past. “We will get through this,” he told her. “We will. All of us.”

Clarke shook her head, a tear falling from her chin. She didn’t believe that.

How could they?

Praimfaya was coming, and they were all doomed. And not even Bellamy’s presence was enough to ground her. How could he be the strong one, the stone still standing? How could he? Arkadia had burned, Octavia had said she wasn’t Bell’s brother. He’d been through so much.

And what had she gone through?

She made the tough calls.

They were in her office -- the chancellor’s office -- after he’d put her name on the list.

God, that list of one-hundred names.

People she cared about weren’t on it, couldn’t be on it. And it tore at her heart to know Bellamy had put her name there. But she’d _had_ to put his. If he lived, maybe that’d be the one good thing she’d done in her life. One good thing. That’s all she wanted. Saving Bellamy’s life would be that. But not if she was there with him. The great Wanheda didn’t deserve it.

“Bellamy, there’s not enough room,” Clarke got out. “When the radiation comes there are going to be people _outside_ those doors. Our people! People we _care_ about.”

Bellamy leaned in closer, his more substantial height casting a shadow over her in the dim light. Clarke craned her head up, remaining sitting, even as she felt the need to get up and pull him in close.

“And there’s someone I care about _right here_ ,” Bellamy told her. “Don’t you dare throw that away.”

Clarke was standing now, knocking into Bellamy before he could give her room. She pulled her hands from his.

“Bellamy--!” she cried, but was cut off.

He grabbed her biceps, tears in his eyes.

“Don’t you _dare_. It’s not gonna happen, Princess. I won’t let it.”

“Bellamy, there are better people than me who deserve that spot,” Clarke pleaded. “I can’t live while my people _die_. _How_ am I better than them? What makes me deserve that place?”

“‘Cause you’re the head,” he answered. “ _You. Are._ You’ve gotten us through _everything_ since we got to the ground, and we’ll get through this too.”

Clarke pulled away, and turned, wiping her face on her sleeve. It came away wet. Still more tears fell, slowly rolling down her dirtied skin.

“No. No, I don’t want to.”

“Now you’re starting to sound like Jasper.”

Clarke whirled on him. “Maybe he’s right! I killed people, Bellamy. I killed Maia, I killed kids. And for _what?_ ”

“ _To. Save. Us._ ”

He tried reaching out for her again, to hold her, and she pulled back.

“Why can’t someone else do it?” she pleaded. “I am _sick_ of being the person who has to save everyone.”

“Clarke, don’t you dare leave me alone to lead.”

“But you _can_ lead,” she insisted. “You’ve been a leader too, ever since we got down here. You keep your people _safe_. You get them through.”

“I have made mistakes,” Bellamy told her, “ones that you would’ve never made. And I did it when I was lost, without you. Face it, we are just better together.”

“But what if I could give that spot to--”

“To who?” Bellamy questioned. “Someone who matters?”

Clarke could barely get herself to nod. Bellamy blurred in her vision.

He came over, and held her close now, and she let him.

“Clarke, you _do matter_.”

Clarke leaned her head against Bellamy’s chest, holding onto him tightly as she cried into his shirt. He ran a strong hand through her hair, keeping her grounded, keeping her with him.

Still, Clarke murmured, all of her hurting, and exhausted, “I’m ready for this to be over.”


End file.
